How Do You Keep Your Sanity and Esteem?

How Do You Keep Your Sanity and Esteem?

Anon (guest) 22 Nov 2010 21:25

Checking email like crazy. Check updates here several times per day. Deafening silence. I know it's not supposed to be seen as a rejection of me personally, but that I wasn't a good fit (seems the same to me).

I keep crossing schools off my list and with every one I can feel my self-esteem falling a little notch.

How do y'all keep it together during this awful process?

anon III (guest) 22 Nov 2010 22:28

Not sure I have any great advice, but if it helps at all, I feel the same way too. I think that's a perfectly normal reaction to the situation we all find ourselves in.

Re: How Do You Keep Your Sanity and Esteem?

vd 22 Nov 2010 22:49

I try to remind myself that it's still early for many places, so maybe I'll hear something in the near future. Thankfully, none of the schools near the top of my list appear to have scheduled interviews yet.

Anon Again (guest) 22 Nov 2010 23:02

I remember when I first went on the market - thinking it was the most humbling experience of my life. I felt like I was doing pretty well in grad school, and then seeing rejection after rejection. But you just have to keep your chin up and trucking and know that rejections are not a reflection of you as a person. Also, it is helpful to keep in mind that rejection is a HUGE part of an academic career. You will have many papers, conference presentations, and grant proposals rejected in the future, and eventually you develop a thicker skin.

I'm back on the market now because I don't think my current job is a good fit. But it is a BIT less stressful because I know at the end of the day that I have a job. (I remember the period in graduate school I was CONVINCED I wouldn't find something and how terrible that was!) This is also my second year "back" on the market. Last year I had zero hits. This year I have two interviews so far and only 3 schools "crossed off" my list. A new year and things change - clearly I'm not the loser I looked like last year!

As for the obsessive checking email and updates. Unfortunately I can't help with that. I am getting incredibly distracted by this whole process.

ClinicalApplicant (guest) 23 Nov 2010 14:17

First, I remind myself that its an incredibly tough process and that its completely normal to feel that way. Second, I think the most helpful thing was to accept that it is completely out of my control at this point. That bit of acceptance has gone a long way in helping me to realize I should focus on those things that make me happy and that I can control. No sense stressing about this any more than I have to, given I've done all I can to prepare.

Not easy though.

Dev Candidate (guest) 23 Nov 2010 14:22

I've been trying to focus on writing the next paper, designing the next study, with the idea that if/when I get called in for an interview, I will have something new and exciting to talk about. And worse come to worse, my application will be that much stronger next year.

But yeah, I totally feel you. Checking the wiki every few hours isn't healthy, but it's hard not to. At least we know nothing new will be posted Thurs-Sun.

Anon (guest) 22 Nov 2010 23:14

I try to remind myself that I can't account for the multiple reasons why I am not short-listed and that many of them are unrelated to the strength of my application. Also, it's helpful to know that very successful faculty who applied broadly during their application period also received a small number of interviews. There may be a few outliers receiving interviews at the majority of sites they've applied to but I don't think that's the norm…

Re: How Do You Keep Your Sanity and Esteem?

da_dude_abides 23 Nov 2010 00:52

How Do I Keep my Sanity and Esteem?

Drink and masturbate frequently.

Anon (guest) 23 Nov 2010 02:06

Thanks everyone!

I am also finding this process VERY distracting. Days are spent checking for new jobs, sending out apps (if anything new is posted), working on job talks (for upcoming interviews), and generally stressing out.

I need to get an R&R back out and I am just avoiding it.

I think a big part of it is all the uncertainty. Kind of reminds me of when I applied to grad school. The questions of whether I'd get any interviews, any acceptances, where I would be living next year, etc. This process is much bigger, but still similar.

nobody (guest) 23 Nov 2010 08:18

I've wondered at times if this wiki is more of a curse than a blessing.
The most sanity preserving thing would be to simply simply ignore this wiki
and move on with your business. If only it we so easy.
Alas.

Anon (guest) 23 Nov 2010 13:04

Just knowing the Wiki is here would drive me crazy….I wouldn't be able to stay away!

anon (guest) 23 Nov 2010 14:35

I've started restricting my wiki use and it's helping. Granted, pretty much all of my schools have been crossed off the list so my only hope is if they go back to their applicant pool. This is my fourth year on the market in some form and yet this has been my worst year so far. But restricting Wiki use and getting that paper out, finishing up my grants for the winter deadlines, etc is helping a lot.

Re: How Do You Keep Your Sanity and Esteem?

vd 23 Nov 2010 15:22

Yes, I recommend restricting wiki use to checking just once or twice per day — there is unlikely to be a flurry of activity in a single day that would warrant frequent checking.

BTW, if anyone is curious, the wiki is now averaging over 1,500 visits per day on weekdays and about half that on weekends, with a steady increase in overall visits from one week to the next. Since July there have been over 85,000 visits, although the vast majority of those visits came in October and November.

Last edited on 23 Nov 2010 15:23 by vd Show more

Anonymous (guest) 24 Nov 2010 04:02

I'm on the job market for the 2nd time this year; I have a great TT job but want to be closer to family (a luxury, I know). The first time I was on the market, every rejection came as a shock to me and I took them all very personally. Since that time, I have been to numerous conferences where people have told me how much they liked my application … at schools where I never even got an interview! I've also been on search committees and I've realized how much I can like candidates who don't get our offer. It's just the way it is.