My wife and I are both in psychology and we made an effort over the past few years to 'let it be known' that we were/are a couple and would one day be on the job market looking to solve the two-body problem. We did this by going to conferences together, networking together, talking about our situation during invited talks etc…We were simply unwilling to be apart and would have chosen to leave academia if we could not find dual positions. When my wife or I were interviewing, spouses would naturally come (it is really unavoidable as you have experienced) up and we would make it clear that without some sort of a spousal plan we would be unwilling to accept a position. I ultimately got hired as a "spousal hire" to a visiting position. As promised, the department opened up a TT line within a year and I was able to apply for it, full interview/jobtalk process etc.. and ultimately get the position. This was only possible because the dept. had the vacancy opening up, I was a very good fit and had a very good response to my visiting work.
The impression that we came away with is that particularly in this climate, schools will either be able to create a second position or they won't and there is little or nothing you or they can really do about it. As such I think there is no real point in being secretive about it during the interview process. It is possible that our approach closed some doors for us early, but I am skeptical that any of these would have ultimately opened up. If they know, and they want you, they'll try to find something for your spouse and everyone will be happy. If they want you and can't do anything for your spouse, you won't accept the position even if they offer it to you so there is no point.
The two-body problem is a double edged sword that can also be a wonderful two-body solution for a department or a school if the fits are right. In our case, we fit like a glove and the department was in essence able to interview me for an entire year and I was able to get a year under my belt prior to my tenure clock starting… win-win all around.
It is obviously a touchy subject, especially with so many people out there and so few jobs, asking for two positions seems insane. In our case both of us were very strong candidates and were both very good fits, so somehow it does not seem as controversial in my mind. Fortunately it worked out for us and we are very grateful, we work our asses off and both feel a sense of loyalty and commitment to our department and school for their willingness to take a chance on us.
Good luck to everyone.