Should I marry her for the job?

Should I marry her for the job?

Heff (guest) 13 Jan 2011 17:45

I'm in the last year of my postdoc and I am a middling academic. I have some pubs, but nothing to write home about. My job searches have been going poorly. I went on a couple of dates with a hotshot grad student who is getting a ton of job interviews and offers. We've been hitting it off (about 5 dates or so) and I am thinking of popping the question if I think there is a chance I could get a position as a trailing spouse. Do departments typically lower their standards for the trailing spouse?

Re: Should I marry her for the job?

vd 13 Jan 2011 18:04

Assuming there is even a smidgen of truth in this troll-like post, I think it's absurd to consider marrying someone (a) after "about 5 dates or so" and (b) with the intention of using the marriage to get a job.

Anonymous (guest) 13 Jan 2011 19:50

I agree with vd. And also assuming there is any truth in your request: No, departments don't. And in fact, the 'trailing spouse' may be held to higher standards in addition to having a long, hard road of attempting to overcome departmental resentment because of the stigma.

I can't decide if this poster is innocently trying to be cute or is trying to make an insensitive comment at the expense of those struggling with the two-body problem. If it's the latter, please be more respectful to your colleagues in a field that values people's dignity. It's a tough job market and we're all in this together; no need to denigrate each others' situations

anon (guest) 14 Jan 2011 15:49

Yes.

Ellie (guest) 13 Jan 2011 18:51

Go for it! It's your only chance at success… :-)

another anon (guest) 13 Jan 2011 19:25

Sounds like you'll need to craft a better proposal than your personal statement if you want better success. In all seriousness, though, depends what s/he looks like.

Ellie (guest) 14 Jan 2011 01:23

To VD and Anonymous—this poster's name is Heff, which is a clue that he's looking for a trophy wife…an academic trophy wife, that is.

thanks for the humor today, I needed a little levity!

vd 14 Jan 2011 03:08

Yes, I noticed that — it's part of what suggested a troll.

Anonymous (guest) 14 Jan 2011 03:10

Wait…wouldn't he be the academic 'trophy wife' in that scenario? Then to build from 'another_anon', his success would be based more on what HE looked like.

There's been a lot of animosity on other job forums about spousal hires, so I was just hoping this wasn't the start of one of them. This is probably the most civil job discussion wikis/forums. Go take a look around; it gets nasty on some of them!

Anonymous (guest) 14 Jan 2011 03:12

oops, meant to say "probably one of the most"

anon_to_a_fault (guest) 14 Jan 2011 15:34

Why not take a post-doc and hold out for the right fit (i.e., someone hot-shot enough that you don't have to work at all)?